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No, that is not a line from 1984. Itapos;s a paradox Iapos;ve discovered is true for me.

Two traits I have always hated have actually turned out to be quite good.

1. I have no tolerance for pain. If I fall down and land wrong, I scream so loud that I can be heard for a long way away. After reading some of tlttlotdapos;s recent posts, I have figured out why I tend to get things like five people cleaning up my scraped knee and two separate forms to fill out regarding said knee. (This actually happened once.) I also have had people trying to get me to go to the hospital when I was perfectly fine (fell on Metro, landed on my nose, yelled like crazy, was fine in 10 minutes. I still had to actually argue with the Metro people to let me go home so I could wash my skirt off before the stains set.) Better to be embarrassed and have to shoo people away than to get an injury minimized. I have always been incredibly healthy, never permanently injuring myself, even when I was overdoing everything bad 11 years ago.

2. I am very excitable. I have always thought that a symptom of immaturity at best, a character flaw at worst. I have always wished to be calm and serene at all times, like the feminine ideal. I have had two people tell me that it was cool that I did not come down from Pantheacon for two weeks. I realize now that being excitable means I am able to appreciate things more easily (a new container of OJ in the fridge, petting my cat, seeing friends). Very little is small to me. When some inspirational book says to be grateful "for the small things," I want to grab the author by their lapels and tell them there are no small things except the petty annoyances. Everything good is gigantic, even if itapos;s as small as a flower bud.

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